Demming

Sex is an interesting subject isnt it. It sells things, its fun, you can sell it and still own it, and it is a very profitable commodity. A lot can be said about sex, and a lot is being said every day of the week in magazines and papers. If you go to any magazine rack in your supermarket, youll find dozens of headlines, promoting how to have a better sex life like; six steps to explosive orgasms

But is the traditional media telling us the truth about sex?

Do you know that sexual abuse is the major cause for crime in our society at the moment? Do you know why one child is picked out as a target by a pedophile over another? Did you ever read that pre- marital sex with your current partner will increase the chance of that partner cheating on you by one thousand times?

Do you know how you can save your child from the tragedy of sexual abuse? Have you ever read an article that said that our government, our media, and our medical establishments have no real interest in stopping sexual abuse and; how they would suffer financially if it was eradicated?

Its not the responsibility of the media to report truth. Its not their fault that you are not informed. It doesnt effect them if you are left in the dark. They just dish up what sells. And sex sells!

How you can improve your sex life.

Its simple really. Just improve how you think about yourself. You may have to research how too. Ill help you with that part. And then comes the work of acting on the information. In a nutshell:

You have to come to love yourself and be comfortable being the man you are. That may take change. But its worth it. I changed, and I healed myself and now I have a wonderful attitude. I am single and celibate and quite happy just having friends that are girls. I hope one day my wife will return.lol I am praying for it!

Here is a little about my truth.

Let me be frank for a moment. What has my manhood got to do with my sex life? Well everything.

I used to sleep with prostitutes whenever I was between girlfriends. And when I didnt have a girlfriend or the money for a prostitute; I used to sleep with men. I was what you call a Bi-sexual and whats more disgusting then that; I was enjoying myself.

And oh boy was I lost soul.

I used to sleep with men.(sodomy) I used to share my bed with prostitutes (harlots). I used to take drugs( pharmaceuticals for a mental conditionmanic depressive). And I used to abuse myself with drugs. (The non legal type). I had a girlfriend who was a prostitute. I *smile* here as the irony hits me. Yes Id solved the money problem, I wasnt paying her. My favorite place of fellowship was a strip tease club. My favorite drink scotch and coke. I pretty well did everything a decent lad shouldnt do.

And even worse then that, I was a born again Christian. Some would say I was a backslider. Some would say Jesus could have helped me a lot faster. And he did. It just took me a lot of time to accept his answers. And I dont feel guilty admitting this to you. ( five years on from writing this article I can say I do feel guilty for my lifestyle that I lived. The forgiveness of Jesus Christ is amazing, the fact that he let me live a reprobate life for so many years before I stopped it is a testimony to just how wonderful a God I know and love.)

My manhood and my sexualitywhat happened?

When I was a young teenager I was sexually molested. I was shown love and attention from an older man. Part of this attention came in the form of oral sex initially, which I found extremely enjoyable. Then the love became sodomy which hurt a lot more.

This molestation wasnt my problem though. And the abuser isnt to blame. The reason I was selected was that I was vulnerable. I lacked the love of my own father and brothers. I simply didnt feel they loved me. And this deficiency in my manhood, was an invitation to my abuser to fill the void.

I felt guilty. Yes, when it happened I was disgusted with myself. I felt so guilty and so ashamed of what I let this man do. I wasnt defenseless. I didnt have the right to say he forced himself upon me. Because I let him touch me. Sure, I was surprised he touched me and even a little afraid. But I let it happen. I accepted the perversions of men for a long time as love. It wasnt love, it was sick. But until I forgave him, and forgave every man who had ever abused me, I was stuck with this sort of love. I forgave them. I learnt about why they were abusing me and healed my wounds. Now I am free. And now Im promising you that you can be free too.

The number one reason little boys are sexually molested.

I didnt feel loved by my father. There wasnt any real connection. Sure, he loved me and provided for me in every way he could. He was always around after work and we spent considerable time together. But my problem with my father went way back. Back to a time when my father was never around. Back to when I was a little boy and I was in bed when he left home, and in bed when he came home. But thats another story in itself.

The reason boys are molested is because of a breakdown in a relationship between the boy and the father. This can happen through divorce, a serious fight, or through alcoholic fathers. There are a myriad of ways for a relationship to breakdown between a boy and his daddy. But when it does, the boy becomes a target for the pedophile.

I found my sexuality by forgiving my dad.

When I read that its the breakdown of a relationship between a father and son, that has a major influence on sexuality, I knew I had to fix myself up. I read books and learnt a process of healing called healing of the memories. Simply put, I forgave every bad experience between me and my father that I could recollect and made the first step in the restoration of our relationship.

My father hasnt grown much. He hasnt learnt much about my struggles. And he still cant see how he treated me in the past, and how he treats me now has a bearing on my sexuality, but thats cool. Because the onus wasnt on him to heal me. And I didnt need him to forgive me, or himself. He didnt need to understand. I simply needed to understand him, forgive him and heal my own life. And the good news is- I did!

( Five years on and both my father and I have grown much. My father is drawing closer and closer to Jesus and many of his bad habits are being put away for ever. We love each other today and there isn't often tension and I know that I have to play my part and not rock the boat when things might get a little tense between us.)

Do you need help with your sexuality?

You can heal yourself too. And to a certain extent, you can do it without Jesus Christ. But once again to be really frank with you, youll do better in the way of forgiving if you have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I used my friend Jesus to restore my manhood. To read more about forgiveness, you may want to check out this article called The Art of forgiveness

Another very useful resource is a book called Manhood. I used this book in my recovery and healing process. Its all about understanding yourself as a man. It will bring you to tears and show you how your fathers relationship and what he did with you, whether that is good or bad, helped develop your view on things. If you can understand that he was only doing the best he can, and restore your relationship with him, it will help you tremendously cant recommend it highly enough. If you have a wife or girlfriend that you want to understand you more, give her a copy of this book.